Adult Friend Temperance
Day 3: Honesty
Be honest with your friend about why you are turning down their invitation or canceling plans; don’t lie or try to hide the truth because it can have significant consequences.
Everyone has received an invitation that we couldn’t accept? I don’t know about you but at times I struggle with how to decline an invite without hurting someone’s feelings or causing conflict? It bother’s me to turn someone down? So here are a couple links with some tips to help us out when we must decline a friends invitation in our future. REMEMBER… Never Lie or Hide the Truth. Why? Read the story I found below and avoid being “Busted”.
Honesty Pays Usually, our first thought is to make an excuse or use a reason that isn’t the real reason for not attending. Nope! Wrong answer. In the end, this tactic always backfires.
A few years ago a friend of my husband’s cancelled a lunch at the last minute. His friend cited too much work as his reason. My good-natured husband gave the cancellation little thought. Instead he headed to Home Depot for his lunch hour to do some errands. Having forgotten about the cancellation, my husband finished his shopping and approached the checkout counter. There at the counter was the friend who cancelled lunch! Not only was he not at the office working, (the excuse he used) but he was shopping with his wife and son. Oops! Totally busted.
A truthful reason to cancel would have been so much better. No matter how tempted you are, DON’T offer an untruth as your reason for cancelling or turning down an invite. There is always a risk of being caught red-handed, or blowing your own cover in a future conversation when you forget the reason you gave.
How to Graciously Decline an Invitation
Here are some tips on how to turn down an invitation in the most polite way:
- Don’t ignore the invitation. Putting the invitation aside to deal with later isn’t good for you or the person who sent it. She needs to know whether or not you’ll be there. Ignoring the invitation shows that you don’t know proper etiquette, and you might be left off the guest list for her next party.
- Don’t wait. As soon as you know you’ll be unable to go, let the person know. Most events require planning and budgeting.
- Be thankful. Always sincerely thank the person for inviting you and let her know that you’re honored that she’d think highly enough of you to send the invitation.
- Be honest. You don’t ever have to come up with false excuses for why you’re unable to go to the event, but you also don’t have to go into detail. Let her know that you already have plans. That should be enough.
- Ask for a different time. If the invitation is exclusive to you, let the person know you’re unable to make it at the time she requested, but you’d love to get together with her at another time.
- Don’t over-explain. If you can’t make it, keep your explanation short and to the point. Doing otherwise will make it sound like you’re just trying to come up with excuses.
- Send something. If you would typically bring a gift to whatever event you were invited to, such as a birthday party or baby shower, go ahead and send something.
Today’s Saint: St. Stephen
At the beginning of the Church, deacons were appointed to preach and to serve the Christians. One of these deacons was St. Stephen. When he preached to a crowd of Jewish people about the truth of Christ’s death and resurrection, they were so angry that they stoned him to death. St. Stephen’s honesty led to his death but also to his glorious place in heaven. He is the first martyr of the Church.